Sunday, May 29, 2011

The following are all answers written by children taking exams...

1. "When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire."

2. "H3O is hot water, and CO3 is cold water"

3. "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube"

4. "When you smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide"

5. "Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state"

6. "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."

7. "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."

8. "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."

9. "The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader."

10. "Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire."

11. "A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."

12. "Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas."

13. "The pistol of a flower is its only protections agenst insects."

14. "The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana."

15. "A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors."

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Red neck jokes

He who laughs last probably doesn’t understand the joke.
Slicker than a harpooned hippo on a banana tree.
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!
If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
Don’t worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin.
If you lie to the computer, it will get you.
You couldn’t hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.
If you see an onion ring – answer it!
I’d rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a
5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than…

She’s wound up tighter than the girdle of a baptist minister’s
wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.

My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her
neck to get the dogs to play her.

You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.
It’s colder than a mother-in-law’s love.
She’s uglier than a bucket full of armpits. Bless her heart.
He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Ain’t no point in beatin’ a dead horse…’course, can’t hurt none either.
I’d love to have a dress just like that, but I don’t go to many Puerto Rican proms.
He’s so stupid, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands.

Rednecks jokes are from this site