Friday, December 31, 2010

Funny kid quotes

Titles of Love Ballads You Can Sing To Your Loved One:

  • "'I Love Hamburgers, I Like You!'" -- Eddie, age 6
  • "'You Are My Darling Even Though You Also Know My Sister.'" -- Larry, age 8
  • "'I Am In Love With You Most of the Time, But Don't Bother Me When I'm With My Friends.'" -- Bob, age 9
  • "'How Do I Love Thee When You're Always Picking Your Nose?'" -- Arnold, age 10
  • "'Honey, I Got Your Curly Hair and Your Nintendo On My Mind.'" -- Sharon, age 9
  • "'Hey, Baby, I Don't Like Girls, But I'm Willing To Forget You Are One!'" -- Will, age 7

Monday, December 20, 2010

Redneck hay baling fun

The magician and the parrot

A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week, so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was one problem. The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table," or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious, but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot. Then the ship sank. The magician found himself on a piece of wood in the middle of the sea with, as fate would have it, the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day and then another and then another.
Finally on the fourth day, the parrot could not hold back and said,

"OK, I give up. Where's the ship"