You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy. You think that the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time. You've been too drunk to fish. You had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare. The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road". Your dog and your wallet are both on chains. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income. You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people". Your home has wheels and your car doesn't. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. You have started a petition to change the National Anthem to "Georgia on My Mind". You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis. You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison. You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.