Monday, September 27, 2010

Doctors’ Comments On Patient Charts:

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

The patient refused an autopsy.

The patient has no past history of suicides.

Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

Patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

She is numb from her toes down.

While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home

The skin was moist and dry.

Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

Patient was alert and unresponsive.

She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy

The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen, and I agree.

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling better.


The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.

The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.

The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
A Joke a Day Keeps the Doctor AwayA Laugh A Day: Jokes To Keep The Doctor AwayWARNING: VETERINARIAN pet doctor joke sign

2 comments:

  1. Good Morning,

    Glad you left me a link for your blog on my Squidoo lens:

    http://www.squidoo.com/notsoseriousquotes

    Those doctor's jokes are hilarious.

    Poutine

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh my gosh, these are hilarious! I have a daughter who is a medical transcriptionist and I think she'd get a kick out of these...will send it to her.

    I'm so happy to visit your blog!

    ReplyDelete